Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Love between a family pet is so intense! I don't know whether it's the innocence, lack of human language or the beauty of something exotic. 'DANTE' is my 20 pound Maine Coon cat and I simply love him. The devotion and unconditional love he gives me makes me want to fall in love with him everyday.  Each day it's more and more. Not only is he gorgeous to look at but seeing his exotic coat with the paint brush that God made, makes me bewildered. It's like a canvas that was created with such expertise that even 'Picasso 'would be  in awe. The sound of him deeply purring or the endless open /closed eyes gazing lovingly at me while laying in total freedom on his back  on my lap for hours makes my heart flutter. His love is not there all the time but when it is ,its extreme and a feeling that no human being can give. It is unconditional, expressive, devotional and respectful. Maybe as a creative artist I can relate to that intensity. It's a feeling that only you can experience if you have a 'DANTE' in your life.



As  the saying goes 'ALL FIVE FINGERS ARE NOT THE SAME' . The more people  that are involved in a particular situation, the more  points of view. It's always hard to come to terms with these points of views. You say yes ... I say no. How in God's name do we come to a mutual agreement on a subject ? This takes allot of skill and wisdom from a third person who is looking at the problem objectively. Of course as much as we hate the word 'EMOTION' it just never ever leaves us. Humans have an emotional side to them regardless. We are built on this foundation and we try in our daily lives to omit this crazy 'THING' but we just can't. So when there is emotion ,there is bound to be different points of views. Do we often feel that our point of view is correct and the others not so correct? Yes.... this seems to be a situation for all of us at some time or the other. Sometimes these points of views never get resolved and we are left with a terrible void and we must take this as a choice we made. Trying to understand the other persons point of view on the same subject matter takes skill and patience. But then that's a whole lot harder than saying  'to hell with it' !



There is always a time in life when one has to come to face to face with different issues. The issues we know are always on our own terms and one faces these issues entirely in our own thoughts,regardless of how many people are involved . It's not easy to face obstacles or deal with life's problems on your own, but then do we really have anyone holding our hand throughout these feelings? As much as we all wish we can rely on a support system... the bottom line is, that no matter what the conflict is, we have to face it alone and with great strength or sadness. The matter of the heart as we all know is not so easy to define. It has a mind of its own and when the inner  conflict arises  then the mind and heart don't see eye to eye. Anger and frustration tend to leave us blind with the simple task of facing the wrath of life. Face to Face is not easy. Dealing with death,loneliness,divorce,broken hearts,disease and human conflict are all heavy subjects. No one can understand what you are facing regardless of all the support and compassion ,until you come face to face alone.



I often wonder how many of us have the need or intense desire to express ourselves. Often in life we have empty hearts  where the  brush strokes of emotion and the desire to be felt gets totally lost due to life. Whether it is a relationship between two lovers,relatives or friends ,the need to express anger,hurt or love is a very complex feeling . Sometimes the need to tell someone how hurt you have been or how much you need to tell them you love them ,is so complicated. The so called 'NEED' can be so confused with simple words of being dramatic,over emotional and lack of maturity. We go through our lives in fear of expressing what needs to be done. The consequences can be quite extreme and can leave you even more empty than before, but then do we stop ourselves from expressing what we feel and live in these thoughts and feel the void forever? Unspoken words of having no expectation from the people you love can be extremely powerful and so can spoken words of hurt and anger. Either way the sword is sharp....
You have to make the clear choice and either live with the fear of losing someone forever or gain their love by beginning the relationship with a better understanding  of each others needs. No matter what... the words of the heart have their own  cruel language.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010



Today I am going to write about the mask we put on every day. We are born with some sort of natural traits that get developed and molded in human cast forms that are later on called 'Personalities'.All our lives we are taught to put on a mask and role play or be something else to somebody else for the sake of healthy communication and social interactions.

We are constantly trying to prove to our other halves,our parents ,our children and even our friends that we are there to please them,make them happy and try our level best to set a certain role.In this process we loose our selves trying to find out who we really are and what we like,dislike and appreciate about ourselves. The ''self " that makes us happy.

It takes years of pleasing everyone around us to find out what we want out of our lives and if right or wrong no longer becomes a valid option. It is a path we  accept and part take so we can breathe for others and battle our inner conflicts of severe role playing that has always been for others rather than  yourself.

At the ripe age of 48 , I still role play for my parents ,friends and my relationships. Do I wear a mask at times ? Honestly,I do. There are less than a handful of people that accept me for who I am and appreciate my shortcomings  as well as my qualities.This is extremely hard to do with everyone in our lives because we all have certain expectations on how we must behave and interact.At this stage of my life ,I'm working on finding my true identity and removing several masks. Certain masks can never be removed.  Human nature dictates that we must have certain values and roles that must be played in order to keep ourselves and others sane.

But often enough while we do this multi mask role playing ,we lose total control of our heart and end up with anxiety,boredom and depression and can no longer breathe.This feeling can last years!

In order to feel 'FREE' ,we must remove some of those masks that we've grown accustomed to wearing, simply because it's what we were taught.    Often enough we question ourselves whether something is wrong with ourselves.The answer I feel is NO,unless you  have been diagnosed by a medical doctor.

We have just convinced our minds not to be able to breathe and  can actually feel our inner spirit crying for help.It is like being related to a gold fish in a bowl with no water ,gasping for air. We suffer internally and continue to breathe without feeling the life we so much seek.

To  feel a certain freedom from our complex environment  we must  accept ourselves first and discover who we really are.We must let our internal walls down, understand the baggage we carry and feel every moment that surrounds us . We must dance if we want to, play if we need to, talk, laugh and love if we have to.There should be no barriers between you and the World you relate to. There is no right or wrong in the way you are.You are what you are.Let go of all inhibitions,communicate with your heart,feel every second you live and breathe with clarity.

Let people that love you, see that you are an individual  and you have your own identity.Talk to your loved ones, cry, show your frustration , express your inner thoughts. Only then you will begin to see your life as a clear picture of the mechanism that makes you a child of the universe.

And there is no question in my mind when you let go and remove the mask from time to time ,you will feel a certain freedom .

That freedom is called ' BREATHING '


Sunday, December 5, 2010


 NUDITY in art can be disturbing for so many people. There are many reasons for this and I believe its blamed on the way we are brought up based upon on our religious and cultural backgrounds.For me the naked body is the most beautiful thing we have.It is a form of art. The body, whether man ,woman, fat or thin can be a sensual canvas not expressing sexuality but liberation of art . I came from a cultural background where nudity was always shunned upon . In fact anything sensual at all. Yet my culture introduced me to one of the sexiest outfits in the world...the 'SAREE'.

 The 'Saree' shows a womans cleavage, stomach, the naval, arms , hands etc. and leaves very little left to the imagination . Is that sexual? Or is it sensual? Thats up to you to define..But because all the other parts are hidden, its considered the norm. On the other hand lets not forget that Roman ,Greek and even early times of Indian culture, nudity has always been there. The 'Indians' taught the world about the 'Kamasutra'.... and that has always been considered sacred art along with spirituality . So where does one draw the line on this subject of nudity?

There is a strong defining border between the art of nudity and sexuality. I absolutely agree on this particular issue , but nudity as an art form can be extremely beautiful whether it's in a sculpture or a painting. Have you ever looked at the famous works of Michelangelo ?? What about the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican ?.... It's a very spiritual and Religious House.

 I try in my paintings to show the body as being incredible ,whether it is a man or woman. To me there is no right or wrong in the body.We are all made with different body shapes that are seductive and perfect for ourselves and the people that we share our intimate lives with.When I start drawing I like to see fine lines, contours, curves and expression of the human soul.

 The real question lies within you. Do you see nudity as an art form or something else?

To me its all in the human mind!


Thursday, December 2, 2010


Life no doubt is a mystery. For some reason this enigma has always intrigued me and I have never understood where science comes in and where God steps out. The union of these two, and the conflict between the  two, have never quite been understood by mankind. When we look through the mirrors of religion...God appears.  Is this Super Power  what makes us ponder over issues such as health, kismet, fate, karma etc..??  Then there is the science aspect trying to explain why we are born, get sick, grow old and eventually die.

The God aspect is based much more on ' FAITH' (an illusion , fantasy or reality ? )  This drives us   to believe in hope, and makes us stronger as human beings. Only you  can embrace and relate to this faith. There is no doubt that the science aspect is based on facts and facts cannot be evaded, but understood like " black & white ".... with no shades of " gray " .  I believe at some point in our lives , its all up to the unknown that has strings on us like puppets, dictating to us like a story book, what is in our next chapter of life, which I call DESTINY! 

My painting above was done years ago...it's actually a sketch of my thoughts when my Mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. .In the sketch you can see minarets, and architecture from the East. The 'havelis' (open terraced houses) represents the heavy heart.Without opening the door to your soul , you see and understand nothing. This is an inner awakening that takes years of practise and discipline to accomplish.One must leave anger, resentment, and guilt in order to feel free.This freedom always comes with a price.....perhaps that's why in all religions we have Saints to help us understand. In the center of the sketch is a man meditating and finding the inner peace he so longs for. Behind him are roots and trees that symbolize growth , aging life and pain where the limbs grow in all directions and cannot be straightened out.

We have the Hindu God  'Lord Ganesh' (the removal of all obstacles). I could have painted any other God, but GANESH is special. All the different symbols represent something on him. I happen to love him because he insists that Man's ego must be destroyed in order to achieve a path filled with love.Then there is Leonardo's 'VITRUVIAN MAN' which symbolises art and science, man to nature and the perfection of geometric proportions.(God or Science created?)

The couple represents human beings where it started..relationships, lust, jealousy, greed, anger, love, devotion and loyalty.The cave drawing is where we first found art .Without an emotional crutch such as art ,we begin to fail as humans and lose all emotions and sensitivity. Art keeps us grounded and in touch with our softer side.

We have an angel or some sort of Godly figure above ,showing us that there is hope in life and to follow your karmic duties in order to achieve fulfillment.The butterfly represents change. Change for all of us is inevitable. Without change ,we would not exist. Everything changes. Relationships, friendships, jobs, houses ..the list is endless.Whether it's for the good or bad..... change is inevitable.

Lastly there is a famous zig zag pattern which is found in many countries around the world.The up and down lines symbolise life and the  permanent dots between them represent us.

In conclusion.......Life is a mystery and no matter what , losing a sense of reality happens to us all the time. Finding the key to happiness is locked in Pandora's box. Do we ever find it?

Does 'GOD' know the secret? Meanwhile science will continue to age us till death arrives knocking and the  cycle  which we call life begins all over  again!